the only peace i find is in you

you got me in a crazy position.

2008-07-26T14:52:00.003+08:00

dear frugal plan, we'll meet and discuss various things, most of which involve your complex situation. so meanwhile, sit tight and march on. you know that i'll always be here for you, and your complexities.
dear btf, the sun will shine through the clouds and you will feel its warmth soon. meanwhile, He will be with you, and so will we. you know you can always call me anytime, i'll be here!

I will praise You with my whole heart;

Before the gods I will sing praises to You.

I will worship toward Your holy temple,

And praise Your name

For Your lovingkindness and Your truth;

For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.

In the day when I cried out, You answered me,

And made me bold with strength in my soul.

Psalm 138:1-3

i never wondered why the easiest things are so hard.

i just want, i just want love.

unconditional. the bravery.

...

you've got a famous last name.

2008-07-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

the parents left this thursday, early morning. it's a strange sense of being liberated, and taking control of my life again. it's hard to explain, to put into words what this means but i'll try.

taking the clothes to the washing machine, filling the pale green spatula with detergent (2 kinds) and sprinkling it onto the clothes, watching the water rise up and then the drum spin the clothes round and round.

ironing our clothes, hanging it in the cupboards, folding it nicely.

sometimes i think we become to dependent on our parents or other people to get things done for us. i know i have. and we forget to be thankful and appreciative for the little things that they do, that we sometimes don't see but they still do it anyway.

these few days, i have been more responsible for my life and my plans. they say if you don't plan you plan to fail, or something like that no? well i have been planning my plans for july all through to december. plan to reduce stress, make time for what's important and study hard.

as we grow older, i was telling them tonight; we know more people and we make choices, who do we want to keep in touch with who we want to share our lives with who we want to include. and then we move on.

tonight, was a reminder of how much the 4 of us have grown. i remember hanging out at Mac's a while back. the same 4 people, but now more mature, feminine and yet the same.

i may be taking on too much for myself to handle. but i thrive on having things to do, on meeting deadlines, on filling up my schedule with things. little scribbles on every date make my life seem more filled and purposeful. and so it is that i see my need to be still and wait and be patient and be quiet and be. may my life never be just about the doing but also about the being.

being a better person, friend, daughter, christian in all their permutations.

...

onto more frivolity.

i need to institute a system in the cupboard that is revolting against the powers that be; maybe make more space for the bags, store/give away clothes that i don't/hardly wear.

i want to whitewash this wall in my room and paint it a new shade of colour. then hang up photoframes! excite. i figure if i'm going to be spending so much time in my room studying, i might as well make it more, conducive & welcoming. MMM.

i really am very blessed, wrt to clothes and bags and shoes. i shall fast from shopping for 40 days !! yes you heard me right. fast from shopping = quite hard okay.

i have packed my books around the room in anticipation of the new school term (yes i'm OCD) and i have 3 bags full of books/notes to pass to Sean the weird.

i'm very heartened by how people are helping to organize this year's sports day. its time to groom a new generation & move on. i've got my eye on a few :)

i should start touche's mentoring thing soon.

i do not watch soccer for cute guys only okay. ZZZ.

guitar heroes is FTW !! although i really suck at it, i managed to pass 2/3 songs today! albeit at an easy level la. OKAY MUST IMPROVE.

i miss my parents. BUT i love that the car, is unofficially mine for the 8 days that they are overseas. HEHEHE. love it. i love driving around :) am already thinking of some plan to get my own car soon.

CHUCK is so funny. i think i shall go watch prison break now and finish the series. excite.

XOXO--,

charis

Fallen From The Sky

2008-07-02T11:47:00.003+08:00

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if shes able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

...

been busy lately, apologize for the lack of updates (if anyone even comes here now!)

will be posting more frequently after all the FL events are over! :)

take care guys!

...

2008-06-09T19:28:00.000+08:00

will be in malaysia from 10-15 June.

damn tired.

2008-06-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

i'm tired, out of breath, i do not care.

i don't care if you don't care.

Painting adventures

2008-06-03T21:35:00.002+08:00

i want to try this with a white plain puff sleeved dress i just bought. but how do i do it without a) looking like i was trying to paint my house b) looking like i got into a accident involving loads of paint c) looking like a complete doofus wearing it out?

assortments.

2008-06-03T20:57:00.002+08:00

what happened today:
1. toast box + counselling sessions x 1000000000000.
2. campus crusade conquest. i bought 3 books, am sekretly happy. siqi bought her bible to replace the old fraying peeling one. charlaobao completed her quest to find the ultimate book.
3. dory if you're reading this: we need to combine our forces and create synergy to help charlaobao. i tried today and it was (insert chinese characters) gu jun zhuo zhan. HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP.
4. the discovery that kin will be working in KL when we go over! so he can bring us around at night :D :D :D AH SO HAPPY.
5. okay at this point let me continue to fuss over whether i should order size 37/38.

World Cup Qualifiers Madness

2008-06-02T19:58:00.003+08:00

1. 3 goals within half an hour
2. a penalty
3. laughing at s'pore playing in their own half x 100 of the time
4. the ultra fast speaking commentator
5. my father commenting that my brother could have scored then then and then.
6. penalty scored, random man does funny actions and teenager flashes his chest in the crowd.
7. my dad guesses 6-2 and my brother, 7-2.
[edit] 8. the ball was stopped in front of goal for the people in white to score. i totally LOL-ed in front of the tv.

i have to put up with weird people (or rather person) in KL. help me now. :)

so you know...

2008-06-01T23:04:00.002+08:00

i'm not a chinese person, i hardly listen to chinese music.
but this makes me want to start. which says something about the video and music, which is too appropriate for its own good.

i have to urge to say this: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND WHY SO KUTE. roars.

life's like an hourglass glued to the table

2008-06-01T20:36:00.003+08:00

1. i'm so glad you're coming back soon :)
2. sometimes when life is rushing around you, all you need to do is just stand and be still. would you stand still with me? have been watching SATC the tv series, the issues they touch on in their little 25 minute segment are what we are still facing today, albeit not so exaggerated. (still, i like what carrie asked Mr. Big, but i don't think he's cute though, though i think she is in a pixie sort of way.)

3. and err, my wardrobe is once again experiencing an upheaval. shall do something about it that does not involve expansion plans. i need to mix up my old pieces and jazz it up a little.

4. time to kick schedules and timetables away this holiday :) will be going off for church camp from 10 - 15 june, and then with my friends to kl from 23-26 june. chalet+silly plans to come soon, once the girl gets back from aussie land (hopefully with no accent, and with a certain amount of housekeeping ability to help me with the charbao). mmm medicamp and associated medicine rag things. i wanted to go to east timor for a mission trip, but the faint spark of hope was promptly quashed by my parents, who will be in hokkaido. BZZZ. such is life. well at least i will be in (some) possession of the car, though i'm afraid to drive it around. alone.

what's cooking?

2008-05-30T12:00:00.001+08:00

have been subscribed to dazed digital via stylebubble and came across this! how interesting. would like to try except the mother would give me the weird look. like when i tried to sneak out in my father's bermudas. which fit by the way, just sits a little low on the hip. (note to self: try again.)

meanwhile, if you like fashion spreads or photography, check this out. the shoots are awesome.

and this, via Jak & Jil, are awesomeeeeee. love the shoes and the pants and the skirt!

Profession: Model Smoker: Yes

2008-05-29T23:01:00.004+08:00

(via one of my favourite fashion reads online : Miss at la Playa.)
this.

you'll be calling but i won't be at the phone.

2008-05-29T21:44:00.006+08:00

artist of the day: Lykke Li. here's her website and
myspace.

What makes a show stick on my to-watch-list? a good soundtrack and a good cast & storyline, mostly in that order. i can deal with writers working the characters out, but not mundane moochy messy soundtracks.

I'm Good, I'm Gone from Grey's last episode of season 4: Freedom. her other tracks on her myspace are interesting, indie and very acoustic sounding (beats and weird taps, i like.). you could dance weirdly to these songs, don't ask me how though.

Apparently...

2008-05-28T22:14:00.005+08:00

1. Not eating for 12-16 hours can help people quickly reset their sleep-wake cycle, according to a new study from the Harvard Medical School. This discovery can drastically improve a person's ability to cope with jet lag or adjust to working late shifts.

via here

2. Chace Crawford is, reportedly, moving in with former NSYNC boy band member JC Chasez.(obviously this has to be wrong, right?)

via here

3. Life imitates art in gossip girl! i think the couple is very cute. why so kute (for some reason this is the thing i say most often nowadays. the vocab, is declining.) the couple in question is penn & blake obviously.

Caris, Gwenda, Merthin and Ralph.

2008-05-27T20:27:00.002+08:00

1. i think i have the ability to sit in front of the tv forever.

2. i think i want to go rent old movies!

3. i think i work too hard for money, and then spend it too easily.

4. i think i get too comfortable too easily, and then find it difficult to break out of the mold.

its a rainy, cold night. perfect for a good book.

The Expo Sale

2008-05-26T17:09:00.001+08:00

would've bought pillars of the earth, save for the fact that i'm pretty sure i can find it in a library somewhere.

Plumo Cocoon Dress & Bringing Up Baby

2008-05-25T18:40:00.001+08:00

this is what versatility means.

and this, is truly a screwball comedy. have to get my hands on it.

with a cherry on the top.

2008-05-22T23:15:00.005+08:00

wanted to write a story without it getting too personal, but i can't.

work has been interesting and tiring.
note to self: must get comfortable shoes when clinics start.
have people watched almost continuously for 4 days.

some observations:

1. i spotted: fringe gladiators that covered the calves of the lady sporting it. have concluded that if you're not tall enough, do not a) wear shoes that involves tying strings on your calves/ankles b) do not wear ankle booties, period c) please try to walk in heels.

2. cellulite strikes, and it spares no one. hence a) avoid multi tiered skirts that swish this way and that (hence exposing the thighs and the fat) b) diet and exercise and repeat c) avoid leggings.

3. speaking of leggings, i have seen them being worn in a multifarious way. pulled up to the knees, mid calves, and even down right to the ankle and under the talus bone. leggings have the effect of making one look unforgivingly fat, and unless you have the gams of say, lily donaldson, i suggest avoid, avoid, avoid.

4. have also seen all manner of long shirts, slogan t-shirts, shirt dresses. shall refrain from commenting on this.

5. on the other hand, have spotted 1290320931809 LV bags (speedys), Longchamp Le Pliages, quite alot of Miu Miu Coffer handbags and many knock off Balenciaga Motorcycles. oh and fake guccis too. mmm.

6. many ladies lay on the foundation, until their faces look like sponge cakes (no seriously.)

7. men/boys are becoming more vain.

sometimes, you think you know better, you think she should know better, you think i know better.
but we don't know anything, you don't know anything about me, she doesn't know anything about herself.
denial much?

the wordpress is updated.

2008-05-17T14:24:00.001+08:00

Cristina: Hey, I brought supplies. (Lexie walks in behind her and Meredith looks confused and shakes her head) ... She's got no one.
Meredith: I'm drinking. Are you drinking, Lexie?
Lexie: Yeah, a drink would be good.

right now, i feel like
1. having a drink
2. running
3. doing something really violent like snapping someone's neck. yes i'm destructive.

i think 2 is the safest option (what do you mean you think?!?!?!) so that's what i'll be doing. again. today.

i mean, who doesn't want to be Cinderella?

2008-05-16T18:10:00.004+08:00

i'm so frustrated now because every single link that i have clicked on and loaded has been unable to play the last 1 minute of audio. and unfortunately that last minute involves, among other things der/mer/rose. i shall go running.

[edit]

This week's episode was good, at least some snippets were. I literally laughed out loud when mark said something witty and scared my mom who was doing housekeeping chores. I bet she thought i was delirious because i escaped supps, but that is another story.

so then i go running, explored this new route that i shall stick to, did my crunches at the fitness workout thing, get up and. i see my dad laughing/semi smirking at me doing crunches. nice :) after doing all that i went to climb stairs to the 12th floor and took the lift down. my muscles feel alive! hooray, this is how i'm going to lose the flab; by exercising not dieting because i can't seem to diet for nuts.

and this is probably why:

while randomly surfing the internet, i see ramen. beloved ramen, i have a craving again.

and i feel like eating, err tom yam steamboat at thai express.

i think my hungriness stems from the fact that

1. i drank fruit juice before dinner

2. i ate turkey, vegetables and potato for dinner.

3. i saw hokkaido ramen and various pictures of cakes on my screen.

4. i'm just plain greedy. and am inclined to eat even if i don't feel hungry.

(which is why i need to fight off the flab. believe me friends!)

PS: the title has no relation with my aspiration to be any sort of a fairytale princess. i don't think they would fare very well in the modern world, and their dresses wouldn't hold up and the 7 dwarves would probably be discriminated against. (well if i had to choose, probably Beauty. because she reads, and has a real cute dad and inanimate objects for friends.)

[edit/]

dory's eye care 101

2008-05-14T21:12:00.004+08:00

Dear Dory,

#1. Face creams may cause eye irritation

#2. Eye makeup and its removal can add physical stress

#3. Sun protection is essential

#4. Save the rich creams for night care

#5. Sleeping facedown causes puffy eyes

#6. Squinting gives you eye bags

#7. Over emoting causes expression lines

An eye for great buys:

To smoothen out fine lines, pick products with collagen boosting ingredients such as Vit A, Vit C, or alpha-hydroxyl acids.

To lighten dark circles, select products with lightening ingredients such as hydroquinone, Vit A, Vit C and arbutin, or Vit K to improve blood circulation and disperse the bluish-grey shadows.

To reduce puffiness, look out for herbal extracts such as arnica to reduce water retention.

For general care, check for antioxidants and green tea, which neutralise free radicals.

Or you can just conceal those eyebags, but then that would result in 'physical stress' when you remove the concealer no? perhaps a stronger cleanser, or oil based cleanser/makeup remover would do the trick but i just am iffy about leaving concealer under the eyes when i'm sleeping. and the best trick of all, bound to work and available only in limited quantities to a studying medical student: Sleeping. Just sleep more. :)

Hope this helps,

Charis

some random thoughts...

2008-05-12T21:03:00.003+08:00

1. i have urges. urges that may sound frivolous to some, but i shall learn not to care. right now, i feel like running in the dead of the night, drinking coffee at a parisian coffee house, and sewing my puff skirt (of which the cloth is, not bought.)
2. i wished i had applied myself better at baking and cooking, when given the chance.
3. i cannot stomach too much of rushdie's verbose prose at one go. his books are the kind you read over, a month or so. on the other hand, ludlum and patterson's books are the finish-in-2-hours kind.
4. you can't hold onto some things. they will elude and escape you no matter what. i guess it's what they call fate, or chemistry, or such.
5. i have realised that the people i find the most difficult to handle, are those who are overly caustic with their words whether they mean it or not. most often, they do and that is. manipulative to say the least, no?
6. it's surprising how time can weave all these threads through one's life and bring people together, or apart. and then at other times, you see threads with people's names - people you know- dangling from it, and you see that down the line, their threads tangle, mesh and. you want to tell them, you want to give them a forewarning, a sign, something. but you're just a bystander.
7. i have yet to drink beer in the afternoon. apparently the idea of such an activity, is weird.
8. you only pick up on words or phrases or inferences from someone's conversation, the way you want to.
9. i love basics, can't get enough of it.
10.(before i end this terribly trite post) i feel like going away, taking a break, seeing the world. helping with the disadvantaged children, adults, elderly.

hello starshine.

2008-05-12T19:39:00.003+08:00

have decided to resume blogging at blogspot because
1. some close friends still do not have a livejournal account
2. the tagboard is alive
3. journals online aren't supposed to be of a secretive sort, and besides.

ps: the livejournal account will mostly contain my musings on fashion and my fashion lemmings. :)
i hope you like the new layout! i have discovered mostly how html works and its a wonder. i like the frog squashed up in the jar. i think its mighty cute.

the diving bell and the butterfly.

2008-03-15T11:21:00.001+08:00

An ordinary day. At seven the chapel bells begin again to punctuate the passage of time, quarter hour by quarter hour. After their night's respite, my congested bronchial tubes once more begin their noisy rattle. My hands, lying curled on the yellow sheets, are hurting, although I can't tell if they are burning hot or ice cold. To fight off stiffness, I instinctively stretch, my arms and legs moving only a fraction of an inch. It is often enough to bring relief to a painful limb.

My diving bell becomes less oppressive, and my mind takes flight like a butterfly. There is so much to do. You can wander off in space or in time, set out for Tierra del Fuego or for King Midas's court.
You can visit the woman you love, slide down beside her and stroke her still-sleeping face. You can build castles in Spain, steal the Golden Fleece, discover Atlantis, realize your childhood dreams and adult ambitions.

Enough rambling. My main task now is to compose the first of these bedridden travel notes so that I shall be ready when my publisher's emissary arrives to take my dictation, letter by letter. In my head I churn over every sentence ten times, delete a word, add an adjective, and learn my text by heart, paragraph by paragraph.

hello beloved skull.

2008-03-12T20:11:00.002+08:00

i haven't been studying as much as i should have, which explains the proliferating number of posts on this space

& the picture above.

also, to my distress, i have found a large number of fashion livejournals.

woe is me and my grades.

have fun study hard!

sometimes you can't make it on your own. U2

2008-03-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

perfect song for a sad gloomy rainy day.

listen to me now i need to let you know you don't have to go it alone.

...

Psalm 37:4-5

Delight yourself also in the Lord,

and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.

...

its me, not you.

2008-03-05T17:59:00.001+08:00

HEHEHE. i discovered how to do a printscreen babies! :)

and #1 session of skype with the dorinda chewwwww.

HEHEHEHE.

2008-02-29T16:07:00.001+08:00

DORINDA CHEW. I HAVE SKYPE (:

PLEASE ADD ME SO WE CAN TEST TRY BEFORE YOU FLY OFF TO THE LAND OF DRYNESS AND HOT WEATHER AND HOT AUSSIE BOYS.

PLEASE REMEMBER, TO BRING BACK ONE FOR ME.

LOVE,ME.

PS: DID I SAY THAT I'D MISS YOU X1000000?

The Ballad Of Gus & Sam. Ferraby Lionheart.

2008-02-29T13:23:00.005+08:00

I'm an honest guy

I've got no reason to lie
You're a superstitious girl

You put a spell on the world

The conversations great yeah I can tell

Things are moving fast like a bat out of hell

I can lose my step here for you

Front foot forward to find

Your position's good

For making skeleton stew

Sh sh she got the numbers in her neck
And now she's reaching for you

The conversation's great yeah I can tell

There's a ghost in the room

I'm too scared to yell

I can lose my breath for you

Front foot forward to find
Uh oh oh oh yeah yeah
Uh oh oh oh yeah yeah

Uh oh oh oh yeah yeah
Uh oh oh oh yeah yeah
On a ouija board

We were talking to Gus
He killed a girl named Sam
And now she's coming for us.
The conversation's great yeah I can tell
Things are moving fast like a bat out of hell
I can lose my step for you

Front foot forward to find

The conversations great yeah i can tell
There's a ghost in the room i'm too scared to yell
I can lose my breath here for you

Front foot forward to find

i'm glad you finally realised what's good for you, should have done that a long time ago.

i'm not that great, i don't see why you can't/won't get over it. (yes, it=me. i'm an item, commodity, auctionable thingamajig).

...

Friday Night. Lily Allen.

Friday night last orders at the pub
Get in the car and drive to the club
There's a massive crowd outside so we get into the queue
It's quarter past eleven now, we won't get in 'til quarter to.

It's quarter to and we get to the front
Girl on the guestlist dressed like a..
She asked security to check inside my shoes
You can play this game with me but you know you're gonna lose.

Look me up and down
I don't make a sound
There's a lesson that I want you to learn
that's if you're gonna play with fire, then you're gonna get burned.

Don't try to test me 'cause you'll get a reaction
Another drink and I'm ready for action
I don't know who you think you are
But makin' people scared won't get you very far

In the club, make our way to the bar
Good dancin' love but you should've worn a bra

Guy on the mic and he's makin' too much noise
There's these girls in the corner want attention from the boys

I see these girls and they're shoutin' through the crowd
Don't understand why they're being really loud
Make their way over to me and try to push me out the way
I push her back, she looks at me and says "What ya tryin' to say?".

so that was wednesday night madness. mmm.

we camped at kennyrogers to fill our stomach with food before we went to the land-of-drinks-and-no-food-and-water.

charbaoz and i shared roaster's wings + cheese macaroni (!!) + potato salad. yumyum.

and since charbaoz brought her camera+extra batteries:

1. sonia is always compromised.
2. and so am i.

the white hat was passed around, huilin looked the best in it. charbaoz came in second. and sonia & i were simply, ......... not worth mentioning.
3. charbaoz and my eyes are slits! i like. heh.
4. all 4 of us at the back of the busz.

5. us with charbaoz trusty snoopy iloveyou tissue paper.
then we finally arrived and to our collective horror;

the queue for phuture was so long (i actually believed that normally it's like that. apparently it's not. hehehe.)

then we tried our hardest to

1. find people in the queue that we know (i.e. huilin & dory)

2. call people to find out whether they went in already (denzil)

3. stand in the queue while the 'regulars' go scouting for friends. (sonia & i)

4. make friends. (charbaoz)

but nothing worked, and soon after the bouncer: the queue is closed.

(cue groans and disappointed looks)

after the plans were laid out we decided to go velvet.

i was so scared the door bitch (who was sucking on a lollipop, so. contrasting!) wouldn't let me in, me looking like 14 (thanks, huilin.) and a small girl (thanks, charbaoz.)

BUT. i triumphed. hehehehe.

then we came out, decided to go into mambo to put our things and go to dbl o for drinks.

(cue long walk over the mountains and the seas and the bridges and the food at grand copthorne)

after all the walking (and my shoes were killing me already) we finally reached got a little high after the shots, shooters, vodka limes, whisky drys and vodka oranges.

one must take note that sonia got high on herself. she was vibrating to herself, twas a funny sight.

the bartender was alternating between dishing out drinks like free and ignoring huilin+charlene's plaintive cries for "HELLO WHERE'S MY 4 SHOOTERS!"

i was very amused and flitted between the bar, random drips of drinks/shots and the boys+sonia.

headed down to the o bar for some dancing, the crowd was (makes crow sound). boring.

we had some fun dancing to our smalllittlegroup.

and then we decided to go back and try phuture.

BUT THEN all our attempts failed. twas a sad starry night. :( (so melodramatic, i know)

mambo, was. (makes crow sound) sonia+i were like sulking in our circle, while char+dory+hl+denzil+phoon went a little high on:

some ole ole song, square room, hate myself for loving you, etc.

OMG. we tried lurking by the door at phuture, but the bouncers loved their positions.

at one point:

hl: eh i try to be drunk and then fall in front of the bouncers la! then you all run in!!!!!!

sonia: oh so the bouncers cannot chase us into phuture?!

at another point:

hl: eh someone go flirt with the bouncer la!!!!!!!

me: oh that's you already lor.

sigh, and then we spent the greater part of the early morning at the riverside,

dusting away the mosquitoes

sitting on the metal cord

huddling together

lurking in the shadows

getting hit on by english guys (HAHAHA.)

who incidentally are rather cute.

after a rather protracted time, we took the bags, took a cab, arrived at macd's!

was too tired to eat, and was in the twilight zone between reality and lala-land.

6. trusty macd's!
7. cabbing back to dory's house for sleep!

no pictures for the drive to school in the morning, where I was awakened from my curled-up-prawn state underneath the blankets.

(and no dory, i didn't drool on your blanket.)

my skin was feeling cold and i was feeling hot=not feeling so good.

listened to loud music in the redlittlecar and sonia still can drive in her halfwoozy state! :)

reached school, carried out coffee+breakfast plan in our halfwoozy state.

finally spots review started and my LPS was not working and SNS were not kicking in.

thankgod that he left pelvis to next time! (:

and then cabbed home with mianz.

AH. hit the sheets & snoozed.

...

kiss kiss by chris brown is a good study track.

be good & go study already.

recess week has crept underneath my nose secretly, unobtrusively and now?!

it's friday.

...

i took the polaroid into my room.

2008-02-27T15:41:00.003+08:00

you know how they say too much of a good thing, is not necessarily good?
studying, is like ?!?!?!?lakdaksjdlskdlsk. HELPP.
(makes some funny noises)

i've completed atonement! its rather nice & sad and just the way i like it.
HELLO WEDNESDAYNIGHTMADNESS + CHEESEMACARONI. studying has impaired my sociable nature, as thus i'm feeling antisocial. HELPP.
HELLO SPOTS ON THURSDAY. i'll be woozy x 1000000.
this is incoherent. shall go pick out what i shall wear later (alligator!)
in the futile effort to ensure that the lockers do not split open suddenly, i shall endeavor to bring as little cloth as possible.
(meaning: dresses! not bikinis, sonia.)

i suddenly feel like eating laksa. mmm.

i love my wallpaper despite the fact that my brother said that he looks like a girl. GASP.

anyone else but you.juno soundtrack performed by michael cera & ellen page

2008-02-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

...

what a fuzzy feel good cute movie.
i put up these walls so that you can't get it.
but then why are you still so unfailingly nice!
bah.

recess week is a coming! which means that
1. dory is leaving.
2. its time to study.
3. mambo! & steamboat.
4. its time to study.
5. its time to study harder.

oh gosh, i do not want to be retained.

Flame. Nooma.

2008-02-17T17:43:00.001+08:00

"May you honor the way that God created you.

May you have a profound sense of respect for the fact that you are a deeply spiritual and mysterious being, and that love is ultimately a profoundly spiritual thing.

May you realize that the three flames are meant to burn together.

And may you discover the big flame."

of airports and ice cream

2008-02-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

TEEN SEX IN OUR CITY

FUSION FORUM @ ACS (I)

3-4:30 P.M

23 FEB

do try to come down for the forum & for the talk afterward!

...

in other words, life has been busy.

and obama is surging forward! 8 wins over clinton baby.

hahaha this is why i love my new feeds.

i'm a geek that way, and yet somehow mmm quite bimbotic too.

like how i'm growing fat (medical students put on 5 kg over 5 years.)

and am going to FLOP AROUND LIKE A JELLYFISH by the end of the 5th year.

i'll probably have to wear a nametag that says: Charis Kum because i'd be unrecognizable.

my bestest and only brother flew off to phuket today!

am missing him and his nonsense already. BOOHOO.

i'm just waiting for the weekend.

no, wait what weekend?

i'm the busiest on weekends.

...

paradigms shift baby,

you're out of touch.

my love for her will still go on...

2008-02-03T16:39:00.000+08:00

ah saturday night was good, although SOS failed

and there was a dumpster in sight,

but the company was good and so was the food ( i ate so much)

next time we should plan to spill something.

next time we can go out the 5 of us!

next time, it'll be recess week wednesday night fun.

next time, next time is coming too soon.

so much work is piling up.

i end at 5 tomorrow,

but strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

and err, dory + sonia should NOT have telepathy.

that common refrain?

just let me crumble.

i love our breakfast show. how chummy.

and CNY is coming! guess what i'll be bringing my mac for work during CNY.

charming.

every little thing she does is magic!

2008-02-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

this was when G. decided to record something.

then this was what G. and i did after the rest left. HAHA.

i'm sorry but you just

2008-01-30T20:09:00.000+08:00

don't do it for me.
kthx.
in other words, i have been obsessing over bags online, again.

i want it that way. bsb!

2008-01-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

...

funny publicity stunts.
10 chicken drumsticks.
+ reputation torn to shreds
and brownshirtboy. hohoho.
more to come friends! eggcellent.

...

somehow, yes. i want it that way.
fastforward.

hazy shade of winter. simon & garfunkel.

2008-01-25T20:52:00.000+08:00

Hang on to your hopes, my friend
Thats an easy thing to say, but if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again
Look around, the grass is high
The fields are ripe, its the springtime of my life

Ahhh, seasons change with the scenery
Weaving time in a tapestry
Wont you stop and remember me
At any convenient time
Funny how my memory slips while looking over manuscripts
Of unpublished rhyme
Drinking my vodka and lime

But look around, leaves are brown now
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter

on another note, mawang is getting bittersweet.
just the way i like it.
i will never be that kind of happily-ever-after girl.

2008-01-21T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry for the neon font.

hehehe i have no idea how to change the colour of the font.

until then, i'll figure a way to get a better template.

love,me.

the night the lights went out in NYC.

2008-01-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

The lights are out in the city tonight
So close your eyes, gaze up at the heavens
And see if you can point me out

If I could have one wish tonight
I'd wish upon a satellite
To bring me back to you
We spend our whole lives searching for
All the things we think we want
And never really knowing what we have

So many paths that we can take
To bring us to our destiny
Gaze up at the heavens
And see if you can point me out

If I could have one wish tonight
I'd wish upon a satellite
To bring me back to you
We spend our whole lives searching for
All the things we think we want
And never really knowing what we have

Be careful what you wish for
These stars are fading out.

like a rolling stone. bob dylan.

2008-01-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

how does it feel

to be on your own

with no direction home

like a complete unknown

like a rolling stone?

i am...

2008-01-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

so over this, so freaking over this.

not going to conform to how you think i should be, behave and think.

: take my life everything all i am an offering for you. this battle i let you fight.

trying to carry my cross.

how i am, why do you expect any different?

: thankyou sophie for letting me rant. hurhur.

faith, hope and love.

2008-01-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

so its a new year and a new school term.

so i say: lets just do it!

i'm thinking...

2007-12-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

perhaps fairytales could happen in real life, or not.
how trapped you make me feel. i. hate. constrains.
how nice this instrumental version of how great thou art is.
of souffle and clarke quay and sleepovers with bestfriends.
melodramatic.
that i should pack my room.
of running, of exercising minus the muscle ache later. but its the pain that makes it feel good, like you actually did workout right?
my heart will choose to say Lord blessed be your name. blessed be your name though i walk in the wilderness. every blessing you pour out i'll turn back to praise.
YAY because i finally found adonai.
what happened to 2007? its going to be 08 day after tomorrow.
i should be a better friend, especially to you you you and you.
won't you do it for me now.
how you can let people down and think its alright.
why is my nail polish chipping already roar.
i'm still trapped like i can't breathe for goodness sakes.
perhaps i haven't changed much, in a heartbeat i would call you and you and you. and guess what, most of them are.
i should let go of things so i can take your hand.
i'm scared because growing up is hard, and growing up fast is harder. and i'm scared.
(which brings me to) i should stop whining.
of a haircut. a very short haircut, snipsnipsnip.
of chemistry and how sometimes even when you have it, something goes wrong and that's that.
of the life i want to lead, and how much more i want to do, to change, to see happen.
of dying to myself and living in freedom.
how different we should be, we are the difference.
all i need is you. my Adonai.
of korean ramen, hehehe.
i must pass my driving test.
how you should be more subtle in your attempts and scrap those attempts.
i'm not answerable to you.
how much paper you need to make those masks of yours? i'm going fresh faced.

[edit] happynewyear!

in your freedom. hillsong united.

2007-12-26T20:50:00.000+08:00

I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart
I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You my cares released
I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

there's much to give thanks for, much to learn from two oh oh seven.
in your freedom I will live, i offer devotion.
there is still much to learn so teach me.
take me to that place Lord where there is no one else but me and you.
nothing, no one else will do.
in your freedom, i will live.
i've learnt that oftentimes freedom means that i'm obedient to His ways and will.
and it sounds like a paradox, being obedient and yet living free, but truly it is so.
i've learnt to wait upon the Lord for he is the everlasting God.
that as we wait, we will rise up like eagles.
i've learnt to fall, to cry, to love, and to teach.
and to live.

2007-12-25T22:56:00.001+08:00

wanted to blog more, but am super sleepy.
and the alcohol is saying go to sleep.
so MERRYCHRISTMAS (:

got a secret can you keep it? swear this one you save

2007-12-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas day

three wishes.

2007-12-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

We'd be so less fragile
If we're made from metal
And our hearts from iron
And our minds from steel
And if we built an army
Full of tender bodies
Could we love each other
Would we stop to feel

And you want three wishes:
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
If your lover ever takes her love away

You say you want to know her like a lover
And undo her damage, she'll be new again
Soon you'll find that if you try to save her
It will lose her anger
You will never win

And you want three wishes:
You want never bitter
And all delicious
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
If your lover ever takes her love away

You want three wishes:
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
You want never bitter
And all delicious
And a clean conscience
And all it's blisses
You want one true lover with a thousand kisses
You want soft and gentle and never vicious
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
If your lover ever takes her love away

...

aye! have been watching gossip girl. i like the soundtrack more than the show.
hurhurhur.
i like this!
three wishes by the pierces! (:
going to do my christmas present projects.
always so last minute i am.

CCO mission trip!

2007-12-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

at the airport with all the showy christmas decor.
very budget & the cramp i got in my neck from the flight: not funny.
this was so lovely that i had to reach out for the camera to take it before i eased into restless sleep.
finally at CCO! the big grand house that was always cold. and while driving into the place there were so many memories coming back! all the good ole chiangmai roars days.
our eating place. the old cook resigned & there was a new cook! looks like a chalet/mini hotel al fresco dining area huh.
on our prayer walk, it was so hot!
then we saw this mound of rice, and we tried our hand at threshing rice. not easy at all!
back at CCO, the girls dorms i think.
at chapel service!
our supper. we ate char kway teow (thai style) and some kway teow soup thingy too. we almost always go out for supper, mmm.
then we made some cards on the second day. abby manda drey & i were planning our school outreach....
which was in the afternoon! yeah we did some action songs and stuff.
head shoulders knees and toes eyes ears mouth and nose! woah woah!
then after outreach, we pounced on the cute toddlers in this room and hid from the attention for there for a while.
the boys were playing sepak takraw with the thai boys.
apple was drawing something on the sand then we played hide and seek with a stick. or rather the stick took turns to be hidden and we took turns finding it. hurhur.
the next day we went river rafting. correction: they went riverrafting and i sat down at the shack and talked with aunty anne. hohoho.
HAHAHA.
twas funny cos my mum was squatting down and my dad was behind her supporting her. it looked/looks like he was taking shelter but no. ahurhur.
then it was the elephant ride and i couldn't wait to get off because i was so terrified by the slopes and everything. roars. and my brother didn't let me clutch at his pants/hand/arm. so i had to hold the metal railing super tightly. i still remember the other time siqi and i were clutching at each other and squealing for our lives. yes, sounds very silly BUT its not very nice to fall onto some super dubious earth with huge elephantfeetmarkings and their poo.
hill tribe time. the long ardous 2 hour plus journey. are we there yet!
some teaching & we did our 'first' live-audience rehearsal of the skit.
the adults and some kids helped with the balloons. the rest, like me were doing games/teaching. knowing me, i'd probably prick all the balloons and they'd end up as rubber pieces on the ground. hohoho.
at the end when judy was preaching! note the cute flower balloons and swords! so cute.
the moms were busy accosting tribal girls/boys/cooks/people to take pictures with them. note the SMILES on the moms(+me) faces. the other kids (read:girls) actually sew their own costumes! very intricate!

see what i mean!
then it was off to lunch & we were all superduper hungry! note: cute kid in my mom's arms.
at the waterfall that we went to later. my dad's toe was swollen so he immersed it in the coldcold water (that i didn't touch thankfully). ps: swollen from playing soccer with the cco kids.
then we went to check out the church yo!
then we checked out some organic coffee place! the smell was great & there was this hugely fun bumpy ride up to the coffee place. like a rollercoaster!
inside there were like bamboo tables & chairs very cool and rustic.
night time at chapel service! i think we were doing the chopsticks song!
saturday was christmas evangelistic concert complete with decorations, a stage and goodie bags.
okay i look really dumb. we were doing the shoobi shoobi action song!
then it was the skit!
and everyone did a fantastic job. woohoo.
then it was some sharing thingy.
and photo taking time! ilooksoverytired:(
with nung and apple! :)
all of us!
iforgethernameoops, saijia and me. actually i think it was... wait i still forgot.
me, iforgothernametoothisisbad and fa.
la dee, me and cutepinkgirlwhosenameiforgottoo.
net and me! forgive the hair, it was morning.
leaving for shineforth & shopping on sunday! wheeeee.
at shineforth methodist church. we rested at a room! & did some songs & sharing as well.
then we went to some touristy umbrella place. highly boring.
look at the multicoloured rice at tesco! we went to big c the supercentre after umbrellaplace.
then we went for dinner & had so much fun playing animalgame! woohoo. and then after it was shopping and shopping = no time to take photos. not nearly enough time to shop too.
the next day it was brightshiny&early and off to the airport!
[edit]: its time to go to sleep. have been chided due to lack of discipline etc etc. alright, more to come! more fillers & details i guess.

La Passeggiata

2007-12-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

and with a skip and hop, we say bye.
more photos & updates later.

thought of the day #12

2007-12-10T10:53:00.000+08:00

the streets looked a little like this the other time around.

my room smells of acetone, going driving later, watching enchanted.

going to sleep on the plane, and i can't wait for touchdown.

i can't wait to say goodbye, because i have this urge to go somewhere all alone by myself

and you wouldn't understand.

2007-12-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry its one of those days.

thought of the day #11

2007-12-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

OMG wangleehom is playing the violin on the teevee now to

lust,caution! so handsome, i like (: (:

alright say hello to charis!#2

okay this is the prelude to the stormmmm.

thought of the day #10

2007-12-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

lets have a dance party.

i brought supplies, apples and booze.

lets dance the night away and be happy and carefree.

loved the last scenes of crash into me part ii.

i want happy jumping happy dancing.

edit: 12:49AM. am tired and hungry and sad all the same time. damn.

thought of the day #9

2007-12-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

ENCHANTED yay!

TML'S FRIDAY :D woohoo.

and then its SATURDAY & SUNDAY & MONDAY

then hello to CHIANGMAI.

am getting so high just thinking about the dayzzz ahead that

anatomy suddenly doesn't seem so baddddd.

these are a few of my favourite things! lalala.

thought of the day #8

2007-12-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

i actually secretly enjoy reading physio.

i just don't like to mug it & doing well for it is another thing.

& its so colddd.

just one word:

2007-12-04T20:07:00.000+08:00

screwed!

conversation of the day #1

2007-12-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

me: hello. when are you coming t find me at starbucks? am sekretly dying. help.

daddy: when it is call moonbucks. Hee hee. will be there 630 to 7 pm

me: Aiyoh. WHY SO LAME. okay okay help am dying. sekretly. jst now got 3 NOISY BIMBOTIC girls talk so loud. MY GOSH CRUMBLES. okay bye. i wore my sunnies on our walk t eastpt you know! coolz.

daddy: Ya u will haf such bimbotic people around. Hey. You suppose to mug leh! Eyes on ya book. Cheers.

me: :( pouts. my coffee is nice. you want some later when you come? i want to go shopping! contribute t my shopping fund?

daddy: ok. will contribute 2 your shopping fund.

me: HAHAHA. REALLY. ZOMG. okay very cool. shall leave a lil bit of coffee for you then! EHE BEST DADDY! okay shall mug. see you ltr. you need t help my carry my medical book back home you know! coolz eh carry my medical book! HAHAHA. lubz you. yohoho.

thought of the day #7

2007-12-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

(credits to www.abeautifulrevolution.com)

the house. is evil.

thought of the day #6

2007-12-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

i will not sweat the small stuff.

phrases of the day #1

2007-11-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

if only rushing around could be so glam.

"chairs. i think you ate more than me for dinner"
"omg, that woman started gossiping ever since she sat down la! i think the man was just ignoring her...do you think they're together?"
"i'm 62 kg already."
"you can have a wedding in the morning, then ROM at night"
"you drink beer? omg, you the man"
"oh i don't drink stout. not man enough"
and this trumps all:
"all your base are belong to us"
well, studying is fun eh?

thought of the day #5

2007-11-29T21:50:00.001+08:00

sometimes, like today i wish to inhabit another person's skin.
to see the world in a different way, to know it differently.
to be different. and i really like how this photo is, the impression that it gives me.

thought of the day #4

2007-11-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

surprise visits with good company are good for the soul.
thankyou(:

thought of the day #3

2007-11-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

"For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away". (James 4:14)
"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom" (Ps. 90:12).
yes, so teach me to number my days oh Lord, teach me.

thought of the day #2

2007-11-26T17:47:00.000+08:00

am craving for some beer. not a lot, just a little.
and for tomyum steamboat & old chang kee squid head.
currently lily allen is my studysongpartner.
am hungry, going to run later. balmy weather for a run!

thought of the day #1

2007-11-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

do you remember how we'd dance in the summertime?

another unsuspecting sunday afternoon.

2007-11-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

Meredith: [narrating] Before we were doctors, we were med students, which meant we spend a lot of time of studying chemistry. Organic chemistry, biochemistry, we learned it all. But when you're talking about human chemistry only one thing matters: either you've got it or you don't.

i think this picture is so cute, and apt.
OH WELL. and the quote too!

i'm not giving up, and. yeah shall look forward to after exams partying :D
wohoho.
alright. more later.

hold tight now.

2007-11-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

Don't surrender your loneliness
So Quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight,
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,

My need of God
Absolutely clear.

i still put on my vest.

2007-11-10T22:46:00.000+08:00

And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

this is for you, if you are struggling with school/whatnots.
there's so much more than just that, there's a whole world other than studying/whatnot.
so all my women sitting here trying lets live by God's grace & run the race! (:

...

friday was much fun! we left school at like, 11-ish which is like how rare!
woohoo, then we went shopping & we both got something. finally got to release the supressed shopping urges!
major yay. but the music in f21 was horrible, zomg. like some trance thing, which gave me a headache that lasted all the way until mid tea break in bakerzin.
jasminebom & i decided we were too tired & hungry to continue shopping so we took a hiatus at bakerzin.
and totally had a chocolate overload. hahahaha :D
yes, then we went to catch stardust! where we were haunted by this whole brood of children/teenagers in the cinema.
stardust was good! :D beams.
and then i had to slither home like a snake, because my shoe strap broke! :(
such a good excuse to find some nice black thongs/sandals. OHOHOHO.
really enjoyed the brief respite from studying & the tai-tai behaviour jasmine! wohoho. hope you feel better! (:

...

then guess what, today the family went out the WHOLE day. and i didn't get any studying time AT ALL.
i also bought a black dress! WOHO. and my brother got all his prom stuff, guess who was the fashion consultant. WOHO.
okay the WOHO-ING is very gross. shall go watch my long awaited grey's.

time is the space between me and you.

...

KWUMBS.

2007-11-05T23:08:00.000+08:00

onto happier things!
i suddenly really miss thecuteboy in cosi (:
the 12 year old birdcaller with the whistle. AH.
yonder days of being free at the stonebench & coming out to see the birdcaller stooping at the table eyeing the mynah.
I WANT.

until the end of time.

2007-11-04T21:12:00.000+08:00

dear person,
i refuse to be subject to your whims & fancies, to be on your speed dial, to be picked up like the newest flavour of candy.
i dislike, having you affect me with your moods; with your free slots which you want to slot me into; with your flippant spurts of activity and hibernation.
i can't deal with it, with that.
i can't & don't want to play mindgames, or any sort of games. no thing, nothing.
so please, just hate/ignore/be indifferent to me somehow, and i will. feel. so. much. better.
lets just keep things the way they are, and let me find myself an excuse.
love,me.

the weekend, has been a mad rollercoaster. in the bad sense, the throw your guts out, tear at the seams kind.
but next week can only get better & its a 4 day week & monday ends early & i'm going out next week.
so i shall be happy, and stop overanalysing & start studying my dreaded biochemistry.

& i don't know myself how i can be so chummy, with you. both of you. i'm like, such a fake person huh?
major fake-o is going to do anatomy now.

infatuation.maroon5

2007-11-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

Burn another bridge, break another heart
Try again, it will only fall apart

this song, is nice! (:

try again, it will only fall apart.

maybe if you stopped and looked around sometime, i wouldn't pass right by you

2007-10-31T20:22:00.000+08:00

for charmaine! (:

OH HOHOHO friends. remember bestfriends! we have an appointment soon, before someone flies off soon. && more on this picture: i have a sudden craving for prawns. the juicy kind, ooh i like. & i feel like, among other things: sashimi/kushinbo buffet, good steak, potato salad, tomyam soup @ the restaurant by the sea in chiangmai, and good ol' icecream.
okay by the time i can safely say " you are like a marshmellow okay" to myself. erps :S
[edit] today dory graced the grounds of NUS, we had a miniparty at the table! how cool.
there was crepes and donuts and chips and juice. and i likeeee very much :D
thankyou for coming down babe (: <3

okay and am suppressing my urges to shop. ROAR because i think i'm going to get the iPod classic soon.
"looks like rent will have to wait till next week" OHO I LIKE THIS PICTURE(:
oh well, must save for, like year end trip to chiangmai.
cuz apparently i'm awarded NO BUDGET for shopping, unlike the brother/the dad. sighs, they must know that the bank will break.
and the OG wants to go to europe next year! eggciting. in someone's words, need to (insertword) already.
savesavesave.

me and my head high, and my tears dry.

2007-10-24T20:05:00.000+08:00

You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

...

oh so suffocated.

...

i either need to sleep lesser and study more, or just not study at all.
tonight's going to be a long night, because, like sonia i'm determined too.
okay, PBL research & then anatomy & some physio.

...

you know that i'm no good.

2007-10-19T18:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes i remember reasons i let you go.

...

so once again, the weekend is burnt like burnt toast
and i have once again had marginal efficiency mugging over the weekend.
this must change, somehow.
secret is nice sophie >:] beams!
i feel veryvery suffocated. want to get out, take a breather.
roar! okay time to like, study more.

...

its too late to apologize.

2007-10-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

i thought, you would have known better.
until i realised that you don't know me at all.
i took it, to give. not to hoard, not to eat.
if you ever even knew me at all, you'd realise
that i'm not that kinda person.

i realise being in control at the wheel >>>> speeding.

i'm going to guyton now. and all your opinions of me, won't matter starting tomorrow.
cause if that's how you want it, that's how you're going to get it.
stone walled silence served on a cold platter.
i like.

jiahao&the 3 chicks went out today! (:

2007-10-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

we went to out of the pan to eat crepes & some waffle thing.
rather nice i must say. & while dory was collecting her battery thing, charbao & i went shopping.
AND i saw this nice aldo bag (: (: (: which is on my save-up-to-buy list now.
been spending too much = must save! nods.
charbao was totally pulling me AWAY from aldo,but hurhurhur (:
YES. okay err, time to bathe & CVS.
as you can see from the frequency of the updates & my social life (which i'm trying hard to keep intact)
i haven't been studying much. i should pull out all my hair, be depressed and be a muggertoad.
leading worship on sat :S major sos.

call waiting

2007-10-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

its raining! & its time to go arunning.
i <3 grey's on a random note!
okay, shall go put on some socksz.

[edit] 8 more weeks to holidays/flying off! (: big smiles.

with selfless faith, selfless faith.

2007-10-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

it doesn't sting, hurt or knaw anymore.
and i see, i watch and i focus on you & you alone.
i like the old me.
TODAY was such a tiring day.
am supersorry for getting out of the dinner date alvin! hope it goes fine (:

note to self:
- spend a day at pageone by myself. (and hopefully i won't get lost) the books, oh the books!
- mug, like biochemistry.
- visit lonesome icecream place at eastcoastpark & get iPod soon.

bus ride 292

2007-10-14T17:03:00.000+08:00

something happened today. i went on the bus, and sat down.
and this american writer stranger started talking to me.
"how's your day?" and other stuff like writing, and singapore & studies.
"i'd be extremely lucky if i could see you again, and give you my card"
no, i'd be extremely lucky to see you again.
something he said made me think, made my day (:
shall go study now!
just finished watching edward scissorhands.
so am feeling very bittersweet now, shall start on my month's worth of backlog.
FOCUS! we have rational, impulsive, happy girlfriend back.
i feel, good (:

lust,caution

2007-10-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

lust,caution was okay, even great (with all the cut scenes and everything) because it sort of haunts you.
i would prefer it undiluted though. the space/time continuum (as someone was complaining) is rather weird too.
AS WAS THE CAT PAWING & SOUNDS AND 'POUNCES' THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF THE SHOW. EHE.
good fun, twisting in the chairs wondering when the show would end dripping nacho cheese sauce and gulping coke.
mushroom got hit on by laksa-man-one (!!) and got a discount. anyway it was VERY GOOD & DRUNK FUN being weird and laughing at each other. and talking about random stuff & other people. (:

erdingers make my day go from BAD to BADDER to VERYGOOD all of a sudden.
shall go to sleep now, with a beer belly nonetheless.
and a message THRICE a day, keeps the monster at bay. thanks PIC. err 9,12 and 3! nods.

[edit] lack of a plan doesn't mean NO PLAN it means not concentrating on the plan
& concentrating on something else, something better. this better work, it must! it will (:
okay friends i have piles of notes to file, my room to pack and garbage to throw.
starting from you in the trashcan, i'm sure everything else that's not supposed to be around will follow.
& i want to shop! :D

[edit] have spent the last few hours editting the template.
STILL HAVEN'T STARTED ON WORK.
procrastinators: leaders of tomorrow!
(:

are you an idiot or a stalker?

2007-10-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

so i should have more nights out like that.
like shopping with awol boy (HAHAHA) and high society! nods.
business plan will work don't worry! & my plan (with you included WILL work, okay)
so today was super sneaky & fun! ahurhur.

okay shall go back to watching heroes & grey's.
we can do this! we can do this.
no more 2 week plan, i've got to focus on better things, better people.

apologize-timbaland

2007-10-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

i would say sorry, can we start over
i would have tested the waters in another space, another time,
i would have fallen head over heels and not cared about whether i got my knees scraped or heart broken,
i would have gone to run my lungs out in the night, (it'd it better if it rained)
i would have laughed a little louder, been a little brighter, ate a little more,
i would take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you,
but that's all, nothing new.

...

more such times at mac's eating bigbreakfasts
laughing at random boy smacking helicopter on the wall, silly girls screaming their heads off
swearing how our kids (if we had any) would be well mannered and demure.
and how they would never play with their food, if not they'd be sequested (charlene remember ah)
and about how the world is so small, charlene's obsession with CROWS
and overhead bridge madness. dancing (well semi grooving to) girlfriend.
i miss VJ so much, but i miss all my friends so much more.
and i love you two so much (: happy breakfasting/lunching/dinnering/stayovers soon.
i want to shout OSIDLSADKJVLKDJFAI at the beach, and not care about the half naked OCS boysz.
i want to laugh at the top of my lungs, with people who are doing the same.
i want to sit in the deep night at the loft/council room and just, stone.

...

i hear moisture is good for mushrooms.
HLP, PIC wants to FEED YOU WATER at timbre on the 12.
AHAHAHA. how amused (:

...

why don't you come along? and help instead of ASKING all the time.
and being -.- inducing.
i want to drive and speed around to work off this energy i suddenly have at 11:27 at night.
i think i'd study instead.
i'll wade in the clotting factors and spin in circles with TCA cycle.

...

2007-10-03T20:43:00.000+08:00

you know, its at times like these
i reallyreallyreallyreally wish i went away to the UK.
to somewhere new, wild and exciting.
sighs :(

simply put, you just don't care;

2007-10-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

fools like me. lisa loeb.
Everybody go
The party's over
I want to be alone in my head
In my bed tonight
You never show

You must really love her
You think I don't know
But I do, yeah it's true
I think over is over

I'm right back where I started
(when it comes to wanting you)
I can't have what I wanted

[Chorus] & remaining lyrics.

...

you think i don't know, but I do, yeah it's true.
i think over,
so over.

...

you cannot leave the people you love,
they need you, not just the memory that you love them.
grey's anat season 4 episode 1.

...

who killed the last koala bear& who in death will love him more;

2007-09-30T21:39:00.000+08:00

but it doesn't seem quite right, like i'm looking at the world through
the wrong side of the telescope.

...

my glutes are positively cramping.
yes, i've been mugging, mostly anatomy.
and i'm such a road rager, when in doubt just go. and empty stretch of road=press accelerator.
HOHOHO. anyway, i find that i like the space in the car when i can be as random & blur & weird as i can ever be,
and it really doesn't matter. because they don't mind.
my impulsiveness to pierce something has been temporarily been quenched by highlighting my hair, although it can't really be seen. still, am secretly glad.
when the momentum comes for something impulsive, i know who to call on! (yes, that's you.)
nods.

...

i want to get out right now, but i can't
and someone should throw a rope now/let down their hair to come rescue me.
but there are so many more things to be happy about aren't there?
oh, don't i know that. don't i know that.

...

off to do carbo tutorial. the enzymes are wrecking my state of mind.
okay not really la, but you get the picture.

...

hello some 40-year old plan :(

these foolish things (remind me of you)

2007-09-28T12:26:00.000+08:00

five colours in her hair

2007-09-26T18:43:00.000+08:00

Everyone asks me,
Who the hell is she,
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.

the thing is, i don't know.

...

"The Winner Takes It All"

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

...

hao xin fen shou.

2007-09-23T20:33:00.000+08:00

i can safely say that this recess week, is going to be more slacking and less studying.
roars, what mooncake party, movies, mahjong and lunches. HOHO.
all the better to keep my mind off you.
but today i remember, to feed on the right stuff.
and you, are obviously not the right stuff.
the song i'm listening to now, is so not helping.
alright, i shall start my routine of running again.
okay time to study! birthday photos will be on facebook.
so SOPHIE: please put your unglam photos on your dis pic on facebook.
& SIQI: more unglam shots.
& SPA: i'll send you soon.
(: beams.

my 19th.

2007-09-22T13:53:00.001+08:00

MONDAY: lunch with bestest friend at hollandv crystal jade (which i didn't know had an upstairs! ZOMG)
anyway great time just catching up & updating him about random peripheral guys.
my paycheck, my treat alright! (:

TUESDAY: two very lovely people surprised me! siqi said she had some discussion thing, but she went to get a fairy balloon for me & sophie went to get a cake (when she said she was at science library)
THEN after that, we went to central forum after a bout of shopping at the bazaar(bizaaare) THEN my balloon flew up to the ceiling of the central forum. and after much blowing of the wind & grasping at strings, siqi managed to get the balloon down.
exciting (: after that we went to meet some of the FL comm people at food for thought. NAT-ella (ella eh eh eh) party with the CBPs first broadcast. woohoo. we should ply joanne with wine.

WEDNESDAY: met up with dory, wanted to go to vivo BUT exit 2b was hidden with 2c. roars, so we all the way to orchard and then to serangoon gardens; where we went to cafe cartel to sit, talk and eat. then a quick manicure (think frivolous yet again, huh?) and then zoomzoom to driving. where the instructor laughed at me for being so protective over my nails, but who cares.

THURSDAY:
the OG planned a surprise brithday thingy for me, & although i sorta knew already, it was still great :D
thank you guys for the cake & presents.
then after that i went out with dory &weird wall sonia to eat lunch. then went for driving.
i think i need to accumulate some chinese songs in my iPod now.
and then after dinner, the family went to kushin-bo for buffet dinner.
sadly, i couldn't really eat much. so just ate the crabs, sushimi and watched as dad & bro got off their seats and ran to wherever when the kushin-bo song sounded. was quite funny.

but thankyou to you, who very kindly spoilt my birthday. thankyousomuch.

2007-09-21T20:39:00.000+08:00

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

i'd post something up on the fab week i've had (&will be having), but now's just not the time.
why don't you understand when i say i can wear this so well, so well that you can't see and realise.
and you don't see, realise, and care.
and don't i know it.
don't i know it.
you could grab me in a chokehold right now, and it wouldn't hurt any less.
[edit] and then i realise, i have many people who love me,
& I DON'T NEED YOU TO.

...

on another note: i'm thinking of getting the iPod classic this weekend.
HOHOHO, hello frivolous spendthrift spoilt brat me.
(as i'm saying this, i'm rolling my eyes at the computer. OH THE IRONY.)
this is going to be such an angry post if i type any further.
lets just say, if anger was a fuel.
i could run a marathon right now.

...

& so much for RECESS WEEK=studying week. HOHOHO.
alright. enough of this nonsense, am going to read some catherine coulter book.

2007-09-19T20:45:00.000+08:00

lunch with bestest friend, talking about how i'm going to bust my pay on my first bag.
surprises with cakes & balloon and the clutching of strings as we came back down to earth. food for thought & NAT-ella party with the CBPs.
mazda zoomzoom orange, brisbane bronze and seafood macaroni, with bestfriend.
(more to come, i promise.)

...

in other words, throw it away, forget yesterday.
we'll make the great escape!

2007-09-15T21:23:00.001+08:00

my iTunes remembers the songs that i like (:

no you won't cos you're gone, gone, gone gone gone.

2007-09-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

its been a long time, since i've been this close to You again.
and i know i shouldn't take things at face value, or at an experiential level.
but YMLC provided this short space of time where i could just get out and away,
because i think i was getting burnt out.

...

anyhow all is fine and well.

[edit: but because He did, i can too take this with meekness & humility and choose to give up my rights.]
...

split screen sadness.john mayer.

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone

Wonderin' when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right
Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight (x4)

"All you need is love" is a lie 'cause
We had a love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters
And it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there's
Nothing to blame At the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left
So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called
because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me ‘til Your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say 'this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Oh and the sadness
It's alright, it's alright (x3)

...

the finish line, is so.

2007-09-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

i wear, and i wear it well.
so now i'm wrapping this around myself, like a cloak (if you will)
just so, just so.

2007-09-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

just a short one before i do my anat tutorial,
something from the mentors at YMLC, shot like an arrow straight to my heart.

Isaiah 41:9-10
...You are my servant; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

until later;

OKAY, I KNOW I'M WEIRD, FAT AND GREEDING. but...

2007-09-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

smiles: YMLC, 7-9 SEPT 2007.
am happy & jumpy for some strange subtle reason!
i'll be good, and not shop (i doubt there is anything to buy though.hmm)

yes and i must mention that i ate alot today, more than normal:
(here it is to scare all of you; must be jasmineBOM's influence & bunny's too.)
lunch: fried fish noodle&mango nata pudding
tea:yoghurt ice cream, yong tau foo&green tea red bean ice cream.
quite alot right!
i really suspect i have worm(zzz) somewhere.
& now i know where all my money is going to, food&shopping.
i'm such a pig, especially since i've stopped running.

am in a happ(ier) mood today, because of random conversations during lecture.
YAY. am in the BBP zone eh? HOHOHO.
& yes mahjong & shopping. will clear a date! that means ME YOU & CHARBAO.

i feel like eating something else.
(and the thing about me being pregnant? so not funny. i want to like impale myself on a pole or something!)
except my tongue is burnt. i don't know why though. HMM.
okay time to pack in baby moore & pack more clothes.
i feel like i dont have enough clothes YET AGAIN.
bye.

2007-09-05T20:23:00.000+08:00

我没有你想像中那么坚强
我只是擅长用微笑去伪装　不是吗
我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌

hey there delilah.

2007-09-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way.

i'll be at YMLC from 7-9 Sept, just in case y'all suddenly thought i went off (&died or something.)

the cross in my pocket

2007-08-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

(yes i know, what happened to blogging infrequently right.)
i feel like going on a night jog.
my body fat is 20.8%, i/we stood on the weighing thing today, twas quite fun.
among other things, this week is drawing to a close. school is getting, less transitional
more meandering with 51 muscles to remember & various innervations. i'm dying! seriously.
but neither do i want to burn out, which is probably my rationale for watching 2+ hours of tv just now, but who cares.
the weekend has a buzz around it, busy bumblebee (zzz)
& next week i'm (finally omg) getting to a overseas destination. i can't wait.
anyway i miss a few random people:
bestfriends, bestest friend, CBP, NFP, TLCP, HLP, BBP.

something i shall leave here, in case this is the last post in a long while:

The Cross In My Pocket
I carry a cross in my pocket
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I am a Christian
No matter where I may be.

This little cross is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm
It isn't meant to protect me
From every physical harm.

It's not for identification
For all the world to see
It's simply an understanding
Between my Saviour and me.

When i put my hand in my pocket
To bring out a coin or key
The cross is there to remind me
Of the price He paid for me.

It reminds me, too, to be thankful
For my blessings day by day
And strive to serve him better
In all that I do and say.

It's also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who know my Master
And give themselves to His care.

So, I carry a cross in my pocket
Reminding no one but me
That Jesus Christ is Lord of my life
If only I'll let him be.

...